Loyalty and Insanity
by Kiue Jin
Summary: Naruto's birth father was kept secret in order to protect him from Minato's enemies until he was old enough to handle them... They should have tried harder. Naruto and Hinata.
1. The day the clown cried

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I do not own the rights to any of his movie, manga or anime and I am petty much dead flat broke anyway. If you wish to sue me knowing all this, your going to lose more money then you could possibly gain.**

**Thank you for your time.**

**Chapter 1: The day the clown cried.**

The strong scent of acid hovered in the air like a foul green bird of prey and clung to everything in the cold, dank underground chamber like a creeper. Considering that the center of the room was dominated by a large acid vat that had been installed to secretly depose of dirt, rock, useless personal and experiments gone wrong. The lack of ventilation was also serving to test the long term effects of the fumes on living human beings, both mentally and physically... Nothing truly went to waste.

Surrounding the vat were many different platforms, most of which had at least one conveyor belt that was positioned to deliver it's payload into the vat below. Normally, this room would be moving none stop but today it was silent as the grave (with the exception of the bubbling of the acid in the vat.). Just as suddenly as a heart attack, it began. At first it was just a single low note, ringing through the silence alone but proud. It was soon joined by another as a rather large instrument made mostly out of different lengths of pipe was wheeled onto one of the platforms on little more then a plank of wood with wheels connected to the bottom, playing a tune that was little more then notes designed to sadden the listener.

Behind the portable instrument followed a small crowd of people. Six of them were carrying an open casket between them. Four of them wore the masks of their profession, but two of them left their faces bare to show their emotions to the world around them. While the masks bore respectful indifference, the shorter of the coffin bearers was glancing with fear towards what had to be the strangest man he had ever had the misfortune of meeting. Namekuji had heard the rumors of the sick and twisted professional relationship between the deceased and the man who had organized this service in the first place.

As the team of six placed the open casket on the deactivated belt, Namekuji looked into the surprisingly expensive casket at the only part of the body he had been able to retrieve... a short-sleeved long white coat decorated by flames-like motifs on the edges that was covered in blood. There were many different cuts, tears and burns through out it.. If one looked closer, they might have seen the thin cut that appeared to have pieced the wearers heart...

Turning his attention back to his host, Namekuji watched as the man who was always smiling or laughing sadly reached into the pocket of his purple overcoat and removed a piece of paper. Leaning over the casket, the green haired man placed it firmly right in the center of the mangled orange jacket before stepping back, placing his hands together in front of himself in an act of respect and mourning. The sign said only two words.

'Kick Me'.

One of the masked poll bearers, clearly female from the shape of her body, turned her water filled blue eyes towards the man who's unnaturally pale white flesh matched the white of her mask before saying with just a hint of pride "That's just like ya love... putting the fun in 'funeral'."

As Namekuji watched a small smile cross his hosts face before it vanished into sadness once more, he witnessed in silence as Rama Sha, the insane clown who had once sworn loyalty to Konoha, walked with his hands behind his back and his head deep in thought before taking the make shift wooden podium they had set up for the occasion.

"Dear friends, today is the day the clown cried." The masked woman started to sniffle at Rama's words, already holding a white handkerchief she had pulled out from... somewhere.

"And he cries, not for the passing of one man, but the death of a dream. The dream that he would someday taste the ultimate victory over his most hated enemy. For it was Namikaze Minato who made me the happy soul that I am today. How I agonized over the prefect way to thank him for that. Perhaps a cyanide pie in the face... or an explosive whoopee cushion placed playfully in the hokage's chair."

The masked woman broke down completely, her sorrow filled sobs grating on Namekuji's nerves by the second.

" But those dreams were dashed, by the weasely little gunsel sitting there in our midst."

All eyes suddenly turned on Namekuji, but the ones that he himself were locked onto by fear were the yellow eyes of Rama Sha. The madness and insanity that lived behind them was howling in rage and fury. Those who happened to be a little too close to the target of the pale man's wrath wisely decided to start putting distance between Namekuji and themselves.

"This cowardly, insignificant backstabber who probably got lucky when Minato slipped on the slime trail this loser left behind him. This mound of diseased hyena filth who's not fit to lick the dirt from my sandals!"

Despite the twenty or so feet distance between them, Namekuji felt Rama's spit strike his face as the man's raged fueled yells echoed throughout the room, the wooden pedestal starting to crack under the insane man's grip. Namekuji truly feared for his life the instant Rama tore a handful of wood off in his fit of rage.

All he had wanted was to get paid the bounty on his former kage's head and retire early with enough cash and riches to last him fifteen spoiled lifetimes over. It hadn't even been that hard to kill Minato. Hell, it had been easy as killing civilians with ninjutsu. Namekuji, formally of the leaf village, had managed to be the first person to witnesses the aftermath of the titanic battle between his kage and the Kyūbi no Yōkothe. The man seemed to have already had both feet and an arm in the grave already, what would it matter if someone was to help him along?

He could still remember the blond haired git trying to say something to him before his face was twisted by the pain of the knife in his heart...

That had been little more then two hours ago, and now he was attending the damn blonds funeral being hosted by a man who hated the yellow flash of the leaf with an insane passion. According to legend, Rama and Minato had started their rivalry and mutual hatred of each other when they started to fight each other over a bowl of ramen in what had been the grand opening of some ramen stand while they were both still children. They had been trying to kill each other ever since.

"But I digress..."

In a heartbeat the tamper tantrum was over with, and Rama was once more perfectly calm.

"The time for sorrow has passed. It's time to look ahead, to a future filled with smiles!"

For the first time that evening, a smile crossed Rama's face. Unlike the others, this one matched the madness in his eyes so well it sent chills down the spine and froze the blood.

"And I'll be smiling again, just as soon as we take that man there!" Rama's purple gloved finger suddenly pointed towards Namekuji, making the five foot tall man nearly wet himself in fear at the amount of killer intent that the green haired mad man was producing.

" And slap him in that box there!" Rama's hand swept over to the coffin that the blond Hokages battered coat now rested in. For the first time, Namekuji noticed that there seemed to be locks built into the lid of the thing... locks that looked like they were designed to never open again once they snapped shut.

"And roll it into that vat of acid there!"

As Namekuji's eyes followed Rama's finger to what was just announced to be his final destination, shock overcame his common sense to run for his life for a spilt second. It was already too late by then, since the four masked pole bearers had already moved in to seize the betrayers limbs. With timing and strength that was borderline supernatural, they broke and dislocated all four limbs simultaneously.

Ignoring his cries of pain, the four masked goons lifted Namekuji into the air and started carrying him by the limbs they had broken. Much to the injured man's horror, they were heading for the casket.

"C..come on g..guys. T..This isn't f..f...funny any more!" was all the man could say as he tried in vain to struggle against his new found fate. Turning his eyes towards their master, he failed to hide his fear of what was to come. " Would it help if I said I was sorry?" He pleaded as he grew ever closer to his finally resting place, his voice getting faster and more despite by the second.

"I'm really really really really **REALLY SORR...**"

Before he could finish his sentence, Namekuji was placed in the coffin he had helped bring to this place and had the lid slammed in his face, silencing his pleas forever as the locks clicked into place.

As the goons got clear of the belt, the female one who had had the handkerchief during the eulogy took up position at the levier that controlled the belt. Turning her gaze towards her master and true love, she waited for him to make eye contact with her and nod his head before pulling it, turning the belt on.

It was one of the slower belts, taking the casket slowly towards it's final resting place. Along with the other members of the funeral party, Houyou bowed her head in silence as they watched it go, ignoring the odd screams that somehow managed to get through the coffins soundproofing. Glancing at Mr S, she noticed the twin trails of tears that were slowly falling down his cheeks.

She understood why he was this upset more then anybody. Due to her lover, Houyou had developed a similar rivalry relationship with Uzumaki Kushina. It was, at least to her and Mr S, the greatest game that the world had ever known. The goal was to kill or convert the other team while avoiding such a fate yourself... and now there was no one else to play with...

As she reflected the twist of fate that only a giant demonic fox could create, the casket reached the end of the conveyor belt and tumbled into the green bubbly liquid below. It managed to float for a couple of second before sinking into the green, one final soul searing scream echoing into the chamber as the soundproofing began to fail.

All was silent for a few moments before Rama let out a long, drawn out sigh. It was over with. Only then did Rama smile like a bored but innocent school boy. "Well that was fun. Who's in the mood for ramen?"

…...

There was only death and the maddening reek of fox everywhere...

It had been two hours since the bloody fox had been defeated and the body of the Yondaime Hokage had been recovered from the field of battle. While nothing had been made official yet, rumors that a killing blow to the heart from a mortal blade was what had ended the life of the famous yellow flash were running rampant.

But Kuromaru didn't care for such things. There was no point in worrying about something that he couldn't change when the task ahead of him was far more important at the moment. His mistress had ordered him to search the battlefield for the wounded and retrieve them... well, she had pointed towards the carnage and ordered him to 'Fetch', but he was smart enough to get the general idea.

The problem was that the fox hadn't taken prisoners. It hadn't been pulling its punches and human's just weren't built to take the kind of damage it had to dish out. To make matters worse, the air reeked of fox, foul chakra, blood and rotten meat which was choking his sense of smell and making tracking by scent next to impossible. He had managed to find a paw full of people because of little more then sheer luck and with each passing minute the odds of finding anyone else were getting slimmer and more hopeless.

Picking up a sound that no human would have been able to hear, Kuromaru paused in his searching to perk up his ears to try and hear it better. Twitching them around in an attempt to narrow in on the signal he was getting, he darted forwards, jumping the odd corpse and feeling his paws splash in the odd puddle while ignoring the fact that it hadn't rained few weeks...

The area he was entering was considered a dead zone of sorts due to how close it had been to the center of the maelstrom that had been the Kyūbi's rampage. Everyone knew that anyone who had walked into the zone while the demon fox had been present was assured dead and therefore the recovery teams didn't bother with searching a place there wasn't anyone to help. Much like other pieces of knowledge that everyone seems to know, Kuromaru conceded that everyone was wrong once again.

The smell of death was overpowering and he felt like his nose was on fire, but Kuromaru kept pushing onwards towards the high pitched screeching noise that was ringing in his ears. Pouncing up and over one last fallen tree, the wolf like creature bore witnesses to a rather tragic scene. There was a woman with red hair, covered in her own blood, laying half naked with something wrapped up tightly in a jonin vest. Just from the amount of blood alone he could tell that the woman had... passed on.

He would have left it at that, but the crying that had brought him here started anew from the bundle in her arms. Pacing himself as he walked up to the bundle Kuromaru started to sniff his discovery, only for a small little human hand to work itself out of the jacket and grip his nose with the strength of a new born. Backing off a little out of shock, the wolf quickly regained his control before walking back over and taking a better look at the creature that had been tightly wrapped up in the jacket in an attempt to keep it warm.

It was a human cub that had some sort of yellow hair with whisker marks on his cheeks. While his eyes were trying to open, they were closed enough to block him from seeing what color they were. Leaning his nose close enough to the boy and the woman holding him to take in their scent without outside interference. While the smell of fox was still strongly present, he was able to get enough of both of their scents to confirm that they were mother and cub.

Giving a silent sigh, Kuromaru carefully grabbed the bundle with his teeth and started to rock it slowly be shaking his head softly. Within moments the small child closed his eyes fully and yawned in the cute fashion that all cubs do before snuggling into the jacket and falling asleep.

Rolling his eyes, Kuromaru began the tack back to the medical base camp that had been set up for the occasion, the little bundle swinging from his jaws. While it was truly a sad sight to see a young child parted from their mother at such a young age, the wolf hoped that someone could at least find the child's father. After tonight, anyone who made it through it alive shouldn't be forced to live life alone... Tomorrow was going to be a truly sad day.

_**AN: This is my first attempt at a naruto fanfiction. I've added a couple of OC characters in order to build up a little bit of the fun, and I must ask that you be brutally honest with any reviews your willing to give. Just... make them constructive? Please?**_


	2. Adoption

**Chapter 2: Adoption.**

It had all started the night he had found the little cub in his dead mothers arms. At the time he had just thought that all he would have had to do on the dark and tragic night was to drop the small cub off at the medical camp set up and some human vet... what were they called again... Doctors or some such nonsense... well, he was under the impression that one of them would be able to take care of the situation.

They had taken the newborn cub without question and found a small mat in the corner to set the youngster up at since there wasn't anything physically wrong with him. That made sense to Kuromaru since it was only logical to treat the most badly injured first. Feeling that the cub would be safe for the time being, the wolf had gone off looking for a drink of water, a place to relieve himself and maybe grab a bite to eat before returning to the kids mat to have a little nap. It had been a long day and he needed to get some shut eye, but he wanted to hang around and look after the pup until a parent or a guardian could be located to look after him on a more long term basis.

A small drink of water was quickly located which was closely followed by a well earned trip behind a tree (One of the greatest gifts that Kami had ever blessed Konoha with. No matter where you were, you could always find a nearby tree.). A light snack was left out of the deal however, so Kuromaru made the consensus decision to return to the newborns mat and have as much of a nap as he could before anything else could possibly go wrong. What he saw while prodding his way up to the kid's mat would haunt his nightmares forever afterward.

Three grown men had gathered around the mat. Two of them were dressed in doctors uniforms, while the third was clearly a field medic. The medic (His headband placed on a nearby table... the smell of hate and fear hung off it.) and one of the doctors were forming a visual barrier with their bodies while keeping an eye out for other members of the human race that might be showing interest in what they were doing. They hadn't bothered with keeping their eyes out for a dog so Kuromaru was able to get close enough to see what was happening before they managed to spot him.

The third doctor, while the other two were hiding him from normal sight, was kneeling on the mat with his hands holding down a stretched out pillowcase. He reeked of fear, anger and blood lust, traits that weren't normal for a doctor to have. It took the wolf like dog the worst part of two seconds to lay his eyes on the baby he had saved from the field and connect the dots into what was happening. The cub was being smothered... smothered by a doctor with a pillowcase! It took twenty seconds for a toddler to drown by accident, who knew how long it took to intentionally smother a newborn baby!

Lunging forwards like the four legged predatory he was, the medic was the first to notice the now charging Kuromaru and made a vigilante but suicidally stupid attempt to bar the wolf bred dog's way. Barely feet away from the man, Kuromaru started spinning so fast that instead of a dog what approached the man was a tornado with teeth and claws that were more then capable of tearing through rock and wood. Drilling through flesh, blood and bone would be laughably easy by comparison if such an act was even remotely funny.

Unable to dodge out of the why of the attack, the medic was hit dead center. The first barrier of clothing didn't even make it through impact before being torn to ruined pieces of cloth, followed immediately by the man's skin surrendering to fate. The muscles and vital organs attempted to surmount a defense but they were quickly overrun by the unstoppable force of claws and teeth. In a wave of blood and mince that splattered the walls and ceiling of the tent, the look of horror on the medic's face as he tried to scream with lungs that were now more suited for a butchers shop window.

The bones of the rib cage and spine made an impressive last stand, but the battle ended much like the rest. Like the blood and meat before it the bone was sent flying in splinters at high speeds. The makeshift shrapnel pelted down on the doctor who had been trying to cover up the actions of his peer, hissing in pain as he was impaled by multiple needle thin fragments that cut through his clothing and stuck out of his skin. The wounds were by no means fatal but that didn't mean that it didn't hurt like all hell.

Leaving what little remained of the medic and continuing his attack, the tornado of teeth and claws continued onwards towards the man holding the pillowcase over the face of the baby. Unlike his former ally, this doctor wasn't willing to have a pissed off wolf tear through him like meat in a blender. Releasing his death grip on the small child, he forced himself to avoid the attack completely, keeping his arm due too half a foot. Of course, Kuromaru could have changed direction and nailed his target if he wished but killing the man wasn't as important as making sure the cub was still alive.

Stopping his attack, Kuromaru landed between the doctors and the newborn, using his tail to knock the pillowcase away from the boys face as he growled at the man who had put it try, murder burning in his eyes. The kid had a pair of lungs on him and the moment his mouth was uncovered he started to cry so loud that even the carnage of the night could be forgotten for a moment.

As if on cue, a team of ANBU seemed to appear out of the shadows themselves, surrounding and securing the area before an older shinobi stepped into the room with a great deal of authority. While his body was covered with a white red with red strips along it, the hat he was wearing ensured that people knew exactly who he was. Sarutobi Hiruzen, the third hokage, formerly retired, looked at the scene before him without a single emotion betraying his thoughts.

Truthfully he was in great pain. He had watched many children of his village grow up to become great ninja and he couldn't help but think of them all as family. Every time he sent a team out into the field, he couldn't help but let himself worry a little for their safety. He would never let this stop him from doing his duty for what was best for the village, but he felt that it was a good quality for a leader to maintain. When a leader stops seeing those who follow him as people and can only recognize them as tools to be used, horrific monstrosities occur.

In one night, the Kyūbi no Yōko had slaughtered an as yet uncounted number of his children and had cost the village one of its greatest heroes to stop its insanity. There had been wars fought that had cost less loss of life and from the scene before him Hiruzen knew that this painfully long night wasn't over yet.

Blood, mince and bone littered the tent, no doubt all of it belonging to what had been a medical ninja who seemed to have quite literally been torn into thirds. His head and shoulders were in one place, his legs were in another and his torso was on the floor, the walls, at least one member of the medical staff, the ceiling... pretty much just sprayed everywhere. In the center of this carnage was one of the Inuzuka hounds he was familiar with who was covered in blood and a blood haired baby with whiskers on his face who was surprisingly blood free. The discarded pillowcase next to the boy's head didn't escape his notice.

Despite the emotionless expression that had taken the Professor years to master and maintain, if he was to focus the anger in his eyes on any one location there was a good chance that it would burst into flame. Looking towards the blood covered hound, the only word that the recently reinstated hokage spoke was "Explain."

The doctor who had been using the pillowcase was the first to react, thinking with surprising speed in an attempt to save himself from whatever punishment that was on route. Something told the man that claiming he was doing Konoha a vital service by destroying the no doubt corrupted child while it was weak was not an answer that wold permit him to walk away from this night alive.

" W..We were merely performing a more in depth medical diagnoses on this child... because this child was located so close to the toxic output of demonic chakra that we have to confirm any short term adverse effects as quickly as possible before they prove fatal."

His bone splintered ally turned his head towards the liar, confusion on his face as the words "I thought we were here to kill a fucking demon spawned half breed before it could grow big enough to defend itself..."

For a few seconds, silence ruled the small tent. In those seconds, Hiruzen's mind worked surprisingly fast for his age. If what the traitors to the village before him were any indication, then it would have appeared that his now dead successor had not been able to announce his plans for the demon fox publicly before he died. While this meant that a vast bulk of his village didn't know the fact that the demon had been sealed inside a small child, it seemed that the fact that the child in question had been found alive at ground zero was enough for the hurt and angry to vent their fury on.

This was going to be a looooong night...

…...

**Six years later. October 10th, Konoha.**

The tenth of October was a day of great sadness and joy for the people of Konoha. It had been a matter of conflict between prospectives. Some viewed it as a day of public mourning for the sheer loss of life that had taken place six years ago when the demon fox had attacked their homeland. Others believed that the fact that said monstrous fox had been defeated and killed by the fourth at the cost of his own life was a manner worth celebrating and demanded a festival to honor the occasion.

In the end, there was a compromise. From sunup to sundown, the tenth was a day of mourning and respect for the fallen. From sundown onwards, there was a great festival held in the middle of the village, filled with fun and games for the children and booze and other forms of entertainment for the adults...And sitting on a park bench some distance away from all the excitement was a young orphan with spiky blond hair and blue eyes.

Naruto had always been treated coldly by the other villages... never outright hostile or anything like that, but he always had the feeling that they were always treating him with great caution. He often got a wide beth when walking the streets, as if everyone was afraid of him. He knew why this way however. He had been told early on about how he was found near his dead mother during the Kyuubi's invasion in an area so choked with foul demonic chakra that many died from the burns and poisonous effects that the chakra caused. When they found him, other then the whiskers on his face and a surprisingly large chakra reserve that by all rights shouldn't be natural, their was nothing wrong with him. Many viewed him as an omen, that one day the hidden cost of surviving the night of his birth will come up and he will go completely nuts and kill everyone in sight.

Recently, in an attempt to at least lessen the cold stares, Naruto had taken to pulling pranks as a method of drawing attention to himself. While he hadn't done anything large scale yet, he was currently in the process of pondering where he was going to get his hands on half a ton of glitter and enough fast drying glue to cover at least a third of the village counsel's chairs when a voice broke him out of his thoughts.

" Shouldn't you be enjoying the festival like everyone else?"

Turning towards the direction of the voice that seemed to be coming from behind him, it surprised Naruto when he found nothing but leaves. Feeling a tap on his left shoulder, the blond quickly turned to find nothing once more. It was only went he was returning to the position he was in before that he jumped at the sight of the man squatting on the bench to his right.

The man was dressed in the most bazaar display of colors, bells and strips that the orphan had ever seen. He was clearly one of the street performers that were sometimes hired to entertain at festivals and such... in this case a jester of sorts. Naruto had heard about jesters; They were meant to be a mix between a trickster and an acrobat. On his head was a blue and darker blue striped hat with three 'horns' with a bell on the end of each one. His uniform was the same striped blues as his hat, with a pair of white gloves on his hands. He was also wearing a mask that hid all the details of the top part of his face. It was a simply light blue, with some sort of black fabric on the inside that would prevent people seeing in. The only part of the man were there was viable skin was located between his mouth and his chin, which appeared to have been painted white to match the costume. There was a large smile on the man's face, a sight that Naruto wasn't used to receiving directly.

Deciding to answer the question that the jester was waiting for, Naruto simply responded "Don't have a family to go with."

The jester nodded his head in understanding, which caused a wave of jingles from his bells. "I understand completely. I didn't have a family either." Turning his head with more jingles towards the festivity, Naruto followed the man's gaze. " It never goes away you know... That 'Knife in the heart' feeling whenever you see a happy family together... Never goes away. Just lessens over time."

There was a short silence after these words were said, a feeling of being alone yet not alone setting itself up in the air like a large banner between the two orphans. Then, out of the blue, the jester spoke once more in a tone that suggested he was still thinking it through. " In about twenty minutes, I'm going to be performing a trick that requires making two people disappear at once. If you would like to get in on it..."

Thinking about it for a lengthly fifth of a second, Naruto jumped at the chance of being the center of attention. Sure, all the glares and stares made him the center of attention already whenever he walked down the street, but for once he would be watched in a matter of amusement rather then fear. "Sure! I can't wait! Is there anything I have to do or..."

Cutting the kid off from his little excitement rant, the jester beamed as he answered in a preemptive manner "No, there isn't anything you need to know to do the trick. But while you wait..." waving his empty hands in front of the whisker faced youth to show that his hands were indeed empty. As his hands criss crossed one last time, a steamy cup of miso ramen appeared in the palm of his hand like magic. Offering it to the somewhat staved orphan who greedily took the cup without a second thought, the jester simply waved goodbye before jumping into the air and performing a triple somersault and a twist before he landed with his feet together and his arms outstretched... all of this was missed by Naruto, who was so self absorbed in his cup of ramen that things could have exploded less then three feet away and he wouldn't notice them.

…...

A few minutes later, that same Jester was in the middle of a crowd, juggling twelve daggers with black blades and impressive symbols painted or burned into the handles in the air above his head. While it was clear that the children in the crowd were watching with wonder, some of the adults were starting to get bored. Tilting his head upwards, the entertainer breathed a small ball of flame, setting the blades of the daggers above him ablaze to a wave of Ahh's. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted at least three chuunin trying to work out how he performed a fireball jutsu without handseals. One of them was even trying to break the genjutsu that the man _must_ have used to in order to make the flames stay on the blades.

It was rather disheartening to witness just how foolish and stupid the ninja from his former home village had truly become. Back when he had been blind to the truth of the world and was foolishly loyal to people who had never earned the right, a genin would have been smart and observant enough to at least tell that it was a trick of slight of hand in the time that they had been watching him. The fireball had simply been a mouthful of cheap sake, a lighter hidden in the palm of his hand and a little bit of speedy handwork.

Admittedly, the daggers were a little harder to figure out but like the fireball they were also slight of hand. The jester had merely brought a couple dozen or so trick daggers (The kind actors use. The blade is designed to slide into the handle a squeeze a sponge that squirts out fake blood.) and then made a few alterations. Emptying the sponges and refilling them with a brand of common lamp oil and replacing the fake blade with a real one, he had spent hours trying to configure the blade so that it put enough pressure on the sponge to release enough of the oil to coat the blade without spilling enough of it to let the fire set the sponge on fire. Shadow clones were very useful for this kind of testing. Without them, he would have lost his hands countless times over to shrapnel and fire before he got the final product. Of course, there was a little extra something that the jester had added, but those who couldn't see underneath the underneath had no chance of understanding it.

Catching the hilts of the daggers one by one, the jester waited until he had all twelve before taking a low bow to the applause that was given. Despite his low position, his attention was on one of the other jesters in the crowd... dressed in the same manner as him with the exception of color. Where he was a series of blues, this one was a variety of reds. Moments before, he had been balancing seven buckets of water on his nose. With the balancing act over, the red jester had started throwing the water in the buckets at grown ups in his crowd, much to the laughter of their children. Some had even began to scream requests to have their parents splashed.

One of these children, a six year old girl with bubblegum pink hair and a rather large forehead pushed her way to the front of the crowd, dragging her father in her wake by his hand, crying out with childish glee at the top of her little lungs "Do my Daddy next! Do my Daddy next!". Looking at the girl with a smile, the red jester bent over so that he could look the girl in the eyes, even if she could only see black mesh. "Are you sure you want that?"

With the speed of the girl's nodding almost reaching the point where she would accidentally break her own neck, the red jester smiled as he stood up, picking up the one of the two buckets he hadn't balanced on his nose. Readying it to throw the contents into the face of the girl's father, he paused just long enough to look at the girl again. "What's ya name, bubblegum?". As the same girl started to blush a little shyly at suddenly being asked a question, she managed to squeak out in a voice that had suddenly lost all the boldness in it "S...Sakura."

Seemingly to acknowledge her name, the red jester spoke the one sentence that would forever burn itself into her mind. "Well Sakura, I want you to remember in the years to come that you asked me to do this."

Without another word, he sent the water like substance right into the face of the confused girls father. No one knew that anything was wrong until he started screaming seconds later. Falling on his knees and grabbing at his face, the crowd watched in wordless horror as the skin of his face started to fall away and the bloody mess underneath it began to melt. No one in that crowd noticed that the jester had picked up the second bucket that had been put to the side until he had launched the acidic contents into the air above them.

With the signal given, the blue jester suddenly raised, flinging all twelve of his flame consumed daggers into innocent bystanders indiscriminately. As the screams of fright, pain and surprise quickly filled the air, the blue jester started to laugh insanely at the chaos that was springing to life around him. Even as the blades of the three chuunin who had been standing in his crowd moments before entered his body, the laughter didn't fade until after the shadow clone puffed out of existence, much to the shock of the chuunin present.

It was at this point that the seals that had been implanted on the handles of the daggers started to glow before they exploded. Then all hell broke loose.

…...

Sitting on a nearby bench next to a spiky haired blond child, a green haired man with unhealthy pale skin in a purple tench coat, laughing at the scenes of carnage and gore that his shadow clones were sending back as they were taken out. The look on that forehead girls face as she was crying over the corpse of her acid mangled father was priceless. It was as if her whole world was burning down around her after she had woken up from a blackout only to discover that she was holding the lighter and an empty can of gasoline. He almost wished that that clone could have taken pictures before that snake had sunk its fangs into its neck.

Of course the carnage, chaos and utterly entertaining destruction he was causing what had once been his home hadn't been his reason for coming home in the first place. He had come to confirm a rumor and right about the time he had found the answer to that question, he discovered that his village had the _nerve_ to hold a festival to celebrate the death of his hated enemy, the fourth hokage Namikaze Minato... and then not invite **HIM?**

He had refused to just let such an insult stand...

Turning away from the madness, Rama Sha looked at the boy who's very existence had summoned him here in the first place. There had been a rumor that Minato's kid was running around an orphan. Despite the fact that all official sources denied that Minato had even had a child, let alone had a woman in his life to have said child with, Rama knew better than to disregard the rumor. In the multiple battles that had been wage between himself and what had once been his best friend and rival, Rama had noticed the way that Minato and Kushina looked out for each other... as if the loss would have been more painful then their own passing.

There was also the fact that Kushina had been noticeably larger the last time the insane clown had laid eyes on the red head... he had simply assumed she was getting fat, but now that he thought about it...

"Well kid, looks like the festival has ended early this year. Guess it's time everyone went home.."

Placing his hand on the shoulder of the young child, he completely ignored the wide eye look of terror, helplessness and rage that was on Naruto's face. It was understandable, since most people reacted that way to total paralysis via poisoning. The toxin that had been slipped into the young orphan's ramen had long ago taken effect

"Well kid, I guess I should go introduce you to ya new mother. Houyou has been bugging me for years to start a family, so I guess you'll do nicely... after a little molding, of course."

Suddenly, the two of them were completely engulfed in an explosion of colored confetti, accompanied by the sound of a party favor being blown. Less then a minute later, the only signs that there had even been anyone sitting at the bench in the first place were used confetti and a half eaten cup of ramen that had been dropped to the ground.

**_AN: Thank you for everyone who left a review. I know this might not have answered all the questions about Rama and who he is, but I will get to that in time. _**

**_Next chapter is going to be set about a year after the events of this chapter and it will most likely be a little shorter, but all will be explained in time I promise. _**

**_I would love to get some more Reviews from my readers, since that is the only way I will know if I am doing right by you guys. The more information I get, the better I will try to be. _**

**_If you hate it, please say so just don't get stupid about it. Give me reasons why you hate it. Otherwise, take care everyone._**

_**If you read this without leaving a review, you are a thief!**  
_


	3. Sentimental Regrets

**Chapter 3: Sentimental Regrets.**

**One year later, October 17th, Konoha.**

Sitting back in his office chair, the third Hokage sighed tiredly as he awaited word from any of the squads he had sent on a mission of such importance to his village that he wouldn't dare defile it but adding something as pointless as a rank too it. Those who had heard the call and volunteered were well aware of the fact that there was a good chance that none of them would be coming back alive, and the only regret that Hiruzen had about sending those brave and loyal members of his village to an uncertain death was that he was stuck under his damn hat, trapped by it behind his desk. At this critical point in time the village needed leadership and a great deal of those able to command and wield such a force were currently risking the unknown in his place. He couldn't risk leaving the village defenseless now over a personal grudge and false hope.

It had been just bit over a year since the infamous 'Jester' attack on the tenth of Octobers night time festival. Out of the hundreds, maybe thousands of people who had attended, forty eight people were killed outright, almost fifty more dying in the following days due to injuries, killing themselves out of mental trauma and poison laced festival food and drink. Countless hundreds bore injuries and scars from that nightmarish night, not all of them physical. The worst case of physiological damage had been a (At the time) six year old girl named Haruno Sakura who had somehow convinced herself that she had gotten her father blatantly murdered that day and blamed herself completely for his death. Even after a year of some of the best work that the Yamanaka had ever preformed in helping the mentally stained, the girl was only now starting to respond positivity to the treatments.

They had learned who the mastermind behind the attack was days later. There had been a few theories as to who had been behind it and why they had done it, but it wasn't until a strange jack in the box with a note saying 'To the old man, love Sea U. Pea" appeared on his desk without anyone seeing how it got there that Hiruzen knew exactly who had murdered and maimed his people. Relocating the box to the roof and ordering the tower vacated before summoning a shadow clone to open the box ( A wise move on his behalf. He still shuddered at the memory of his clone choking to death while laughing uncontrollably after being exposed to the poison gas cloud that the box had unleashed when it had been opened.). At the bottom of the box there had been a letter expressing the former jounin of Konoha Rama Sha's displeasure at not being personally invited to a party celebrating the fourth hokages death and explaining his hopes that the problem will be fixed before the next party was organized.

Naturally, the festival itself was canceled without a single complainant from anyone. Ordering countless training excursus and drills to be performed by all members of Konoha's armed and civilian ranks, the third began a campaign to ready his village for the subtle threat that Rama was coming back. By the time of the first anniversary of the 'Jester killings', Konoha could have taken on three invading armies coming from different directions at once and be able to hold its own. Nothing happened. No Rama. No invading army. Nothing. There was nothing on the eleventh or twelfth either. There were whispers that the Hokage had become overly paranoid due to the attack the year before and suggestions on who was going to replace him were running rampant by the end of the day.

On October the thirteenth (By sheer chance a Friday.), an army of thugs, rouge ronin, missing ninja and just about every kind of scum that could be bribed, hired, lured or simply threatened to serve the S ranked missing ninja appeared in the heart of the land of Fire and launched an invasion to seize the capital city, attempting to storm the daimyō's palace in the process.

Without the vigilant training they had undergone, Konoha's forces wouldn't have had the chance to arrive in time to not only save the daimyō, but also half the city as well. It also greatly reduced the number of friendly casualties while maximizing the enemy death toll. All rumors of the Third's incompetence to lead the village were silenced on this day.

While the bulk of his forces were being purged from the world of the living, Rama himself and a few loyal henchmen had fled the capital shortly after the battle began. While he managed to slip by the bulk of the fire nations united coalition forces (Named as such in the aftermath of the battle since the numerous non shinobi factions who had already been fighting against the invading mercenary army to protect their city joined up with the ninja from Konoha almost as soon as they joined the battle), a small scouting party were able to pick up his trail and pursued the insane bastard to an abandoned and forgotten fortress that he must have been using for a lair. While it might have been a ruin at one stage, it had been repaired and improved by its new owner. With a mastery of traps, sealing tricks and what the scouting party had learned was nothing short of an army of goons still at his call, Rama had entrenched himself heavily here. Unable to learn anything more, the scouts started the twenty one hour trip to Konoha with their report.

On October the fifteenth, Hiruzen sent out a summon to twenty of his best to meet him in his office in order to assign them the mission of a lifetime... to hunt down and terminate the missing ninja Sha Rama and put an end to the threat he posed to Konoha.

That had been two days ago and the Third hadn't gotten a single report back from his elite yet. That wasn't strange though. When hunting someone like Rama, even the slightly thing out of place might alert him to the presence of the hunting party. Hiruzen would rather wait three days and hear nothing from the team in the field so they could bring back Rama's head then demand a report from the teams he had sent and never see any of them again.

Fiddling with the pipe in his mouth, he cracked the saw bones in his neck as he looked at a paper trail that had haunted him and Konoha for too damn long. It had taken a matter of hours to empty the achieves of his tower of every single piece of paper that even bore Rama's name and dump it on his desk. Everything from the birth certificate he had been given shortly after he had been abandoned on the orphanage door step to the more outlandish reports on his rumored achievements. He had gone through this pile many times over the decades, seeking insight into the mad man's mind. Every time he looked through it, it just kept getting longer and more horrifying with each reading. Hell, he had on more then one occasion thought about copying it all out and sending it all to Jiraiya's publisher so he could retire off the cold hard cash that the no doubt award winning book would bring him.

…...

But all stories have to start somewhere.

Rama's began when he was dumped at the Konoha orphanage when he was a few days, maybe even a week old at best. There had been a war going on at the time so orphans were quite common in those days, but Rama was special. Both of his parents had been alive when they had dropped him off at the orphanage and according to the matron at the time they appeared to be rather well off when it came to buying fancy things. She had had a habit of writing down any last words that the parents had to say to their children in order to give them something when they were older. Hiruzen had been sickened by the final words that Rama's father had to say to his son all those decades ago and looking at the single strip of yellow paper in front of him he still felt the same about the foul words that he did then.

_'Just be glad we didn't throw you into the woods for the wolves when you started crying last night on the road.'_

Placing the birth certificate and last words aside, Hiruzen felt his age at the sight of Sha's application into the academy. It was one of the older versions of the form that they had stopped using almost twenty years ago. Under normal conditions, the number of orphans that enlisted in the academy were low. But in times of war the unwanted children were given encouragement to sign up. Age limits that were normally strictly followed were dropped in favor of getting more soldiers on the field. Rama had been one of the few to jump at the chance, signing up for the program without a second thought or regret.

While it wasn't written down, Hiruzen had been there personally when Rama handed his papers in. He had been a completely different person back then. Brown hair, blue eyed and a healthy tan, Rama would have been picked up by a happy family had times been different. He had been such a sweet and caring boy, and the few friends he did have he was devoutly loyal too.

It was also that same day that Rama first met Minato. The unwanted clanless orphan meeting the beloved solo heir of the somewhat small Namikaze clan. It was a meeting to remember. Never before had he encountered a pair who honestly hated each other with such passion from the get go. It seemed that no matter what either of them said, it got on the others nerves. At one stage during the day, Hiruzen had to forcefully hold Minato and Rama apart to prevent them from strangling each other.

This had been a common thing to happen between the two of them for years to come. If he remembered correctly... Placing the application papers to the side, the Professor of the ninja world smiled as he saw the ANBU report that had been underneath it. Just after the two of them had graduated the academy, a ramen stand had opened up. While the stand itself wasn't that big, the opening night had been big news for both of them. The report itself detailed the brawl that had started when the owner and chief Ichiraku made the mistake of making a big deal out of the first bowl of Ramen he served. The fight over the bowl between Minato and Rama quickly became the thing of legends and was used as free advertising for years to come. Some of the older locals still remembered the old slogan.

_'What would you do for a bowl of Ichiraku's Ramen?'_

Carefully returning the old ANBU report to its rightful place on the desk, the Third decided to skip over a number of mission reports. He had read them all before and none of them had given him any sort of clue as to the mystery of Sha Rama... not even the one missing report that he knew personally as the beginning of the end.

Finding it underneath the paperwork for Rama's promotion to chuunin, it was clear that it was different from all the others. Rama had been one of those squad leaders that at least put a little effort into his reports, so it was quite strange when all he had handed in as a report with no other detail then 'Failed' written on it.

That failure had been an assassination mission in which three squads lost their lives and the target survived. Rama managed to escape with one of the other squad leaders, who was in a critical condition when he brought her in. They had only been married for three days before they had been sent of that mission.

Hiruzen sighed sadly at the memory of that day. In a cruel twist of fate, the one woman who could have saved Sha Rin had left for what she vowed was for good little more then an hour beforehand. Rin died in Rama's arms because one of the great sannin had decided to indulge in self pity...

That was just the beginning...

When it came to light that Rama had completely abandoned the mission in order to try and get his wife medical help, he was completely blacklisted by the village at large. Friends refused to have anything to do with him and since he had no family to fall back on Rama was completely alone. Unable to take any missions, Rama went to work in research and development. One night, three weeks after his wife's death, he started to pump his body full of untested, high risk drugs and chemicals in an attempt to kill himself. In a way, it worked.

Sha Rama, loyal member of Konoha and a kind and caring human being died that night. Rama Sha, the green haired monstrous insane clown who murdered and tortured people because it was funny was born.

Hiruzen was about to look at the report of the first sighting of the new Rama when a knock interrupted him from his thoughts. Completely on auto-pilot, he answered the knock with a "Come in."

Standing in the doorway was one of the ANBU agents he had stationed at the message tower. 'Crow' simply gave a bow before giving his report. While normally such a report would require some privacy, this one was going to go public soon enough anyway.

"Lord Hokage, we have just gotten word from squad leader Raven. The S ranked missing ninja and traitor to Konoha Sha Rama is confirmed dead by dental records of his earthly remains."

For a few moments, silence filled the hokage's office. While Hiruzen knew that Sha had become a monster that needed to be taken down for the safety of the village, a part of him still remembered what he had been like before the madness had taken hold of him. He truly regretted that it had to come to this, but there had been no other choice.

"Thank you Crow. If there anything else to report?"

Nodding his head, the masked man code named Crow started to finish the message given to him to the suddenly very old hokage. "There is something else. Raven reports that they have found the 'Red Death's' fox cub that Rama stole alive and are bringing him home. They will be back by tomorrow morning."

While the older man's face didn't change from the poker face he had set up, the air itself seemed to fill with his shock. "I... see. Thank you Crow. You may return to your duties."

Once the man with the mask of a Crow had left, Hiruzen simply looked at the wall with a single thought in his head... a thought he had disregarded as a false hope almost a year ago.

_Naruto was still alive... _

**_AN: I know this one is a little short, but it was needed._**

**_I hope you've enjoyed the insight into who Rama is and how he came to be that way._**

**_I know this hasn't really been funny so far, but in two chapters that will change. I promise._**

**_Please give me some reviews. It's disheartening when all my work gets is silence. If you don't tell me what you are thinking, I'm going to start imagining what your thinking and torture myself for days on end. Is that what you want?_**

**_Thanks for reading my work so far. Peace out!_**


	4. Pleasant Dreams

**Chapter 4: Pleasant Dreams**

**Hospital, Kononha, 18th October.**

He was waking up in a hospital bed.

This was the first clear thought that managed to piece the cloudy mental struggle as Naruto's mind was being dragged away from dreamland and reintroduced to the real world. While a part of him knew that what he had witnessed in the dream he was living behind was vitally important for some reason he didn't fully understand, he couldn't recall a single detail of it.

Slowly shaking his sluggish head in order to wake up a little more and figure out the situation, Naruto tired to remember what had happened to get him put into the hospital this time. He hated to admit it, but he had been in this cursed place more often then he would have liked too. Normally it was because one of his pranks backfired horribly, but once or twice he had been sent here due to a well thrown rock or sake bottle to the head.

As the blinding white blur that was the pure white ceiling started to clear up, the blond had to wipe his eyes with hands that were connected to arms that felt like they were made of lead, muttering curses against the bastard who thought it was a great idea to have the ceiling covered in tiles that caused blindness in the newly awakened. While he could never prove it, the blond had come up with a theory that the blindness inducing tiles were intensionally placed in order to prevent patients from running for it the moment they woke up.

As his sense of sight was sorting itself out, Naruto heard someone drag a seat across the tiled floor and place it next to his bed before sitting in it. Turning his head, the young prankster couldn't help but beam in at the closest thing to a grandfather he had. In a voice that was dry and clearly in need of water, Naruto managed a "H..Hey old man. W..what happened? W..Why am I in the hospital?"

The old man in question, noticing the thirst in his voice, simply handed Naruto a pitcher of water and was about to hand him a glass to use with it when the blond placed the edge of the pitcher to his laps and tilted his head back, swallowing mouthful after mouthful of the vital liquid like his life depended on it. In less the fifteen seconds, the whole thing was empty, followed shortly by a loud 'BURP' from the young child. Naruto was a little happier without the thirst bugging him. His body still felt...wrong, but at least one of the problems had been fixed.

Looking at the old man in the hat, Naruto's eyes held the confusion that he was feeling. Getting a sigh in return, the Hokage's face betraying nothing but tiredness. " Before I can answer your questions, I need to ask one of my own. What is the last thing you remember Naruto?"

As the orphan attempted to drag up his most recent memories, something...weird started to happen. He didn't notice it at first, but the more he tired to access his memory the more it became apparent. Something was calmly but firmly leading his mind away from...something important, like a strong current pulling him away from the nearest island and dumping him somewhere else. The memory he was being guided to was of a younger version of himself, sitting on a green bench with a cup of beef ramen, witnessing the October tenth festival alone from a distance. There was just something...wrong with the memory. It was...lacking something. Try as he might, he couldn't call up the little details like the smell and flavor of the ramen cup. There was no emotional connection to the moment either. The brief moments where the noodles were sliding down his throat, the savory taste of the broth in his mouth... nothing.

Looking at the old man with a clearly confused look on his face, Naruto answered as truthfully as he could. "I...I remember sitting on a bench eating ramen on my birthday, but … something is wrong with it.". As the old man's brow started to furrow, Naruto continued with his explanation. " I... I can remember watching the festival that takes place on my birthday while sitting on a bench and eating a cup of ramen, but whenever I try to call up the important details I draw complete blanks. Also, I can't help but feel that there is something... closer, but something is driving me away from it. I know it's not the easiest thing to understand but..."

Nodding his head in understanding, Sarutobi can't help but let out a small sigh. " I know what you're talking about and I was expecting it a little. It's why I have a friend on hand that I trust is able to help you to correct this situation."

As the old man tilted his head towards the side of his bed, Naruto turned to look in the new direction only for his eyes to make contact with a pair of red eyes with three tomoe's in each one. The look of surprise that must have shown on Naruto's face quickly vanished as the Tomoe's began to spin...

…...

Sarutobi sighed as he took one last look at the now sleeping Naruto before leaving the hospital room he was currently placed in and closing the door behind him with a small click. Nodding at the two ANBU members that were visibly guarding the door (and the four others who weren't visible but were still there.), the third Hokage started to walk almost randomly towards one of the lesser used wings of the hospital.

He was still trying to work out when everything had gone all wrong.

When he had gotten word that Naruto had not only been found alive, but successfully recovered, it had been one of the happiest moments of the year for the elder veteran. But things quickly became complicated by politics and reality.

Shortly after Naruto had gone missing, the fact that he was a jinchuriki came to light after a missing letter from the fourth Hokage was 'discovered' by Danzo and presented to the council during one of its meetings. This discovery, coupled with the fact that said Jinchuriki was currently in the hands of an S ranked missing ninja who was bat shit crazy, did not sit well with them.

While the creation of a law to prevent the information from spreading was drafted and implemented within two hours, it was already too late. Almost a third of Konoha's population now knew the truth and a major blow to Konoha's diplomatic strength was dealt. Despite the extreme punishment for telling those who didn't already know the truth about the fate of the Kyūbi or its container, the other villages had discovered two very important facts by the end of the week.

One: Konoha had a Jinchuriki.

Two: Konoha's Jinchuriki had been stolen by a missing ninja who had a history of attempting to maim the people of Konoha with great success.

It wasn't really that big a surprise when, after examining the bodies of those that had thrown in their respective lots with Rama, almost two thirds of their equipment seemed to have been supplied by factions of Iwagakure and Kumogakure. Of course, no one would ever by able to prove that the armaments, armor and other supplies were officially from them. The benefit of arming the renegades was that you could claim later that the items in their procession were stolen. As much as he wanted to say otherwise, Hiruzen knew that some in Konoha would have done the same if the situation was reversed.

Despite this weakening of Konoha's political standing, that wasn't even close to the potential shit storm that would start if Naruto's newest condition was brought to light. So far, only two people knew about the state Naruto was in when he was brought in. Himself and ANBU member who managed to retrieve him from the field.

Finding himself in front of a room that was supposed to be empty, Hiruzen let himself in only to find that the privacy seals had already been put into place in order to discuss with the only person he was willing to trust talking too about the current mess and the measures that they took to clean it up.

The most important thing however was to ensure that **No One** on the council ever discovered what truly happened to Naruto Uzumaki while in Rama Sha's custody.

No one could ever find out that Naruto had been driven insane...

**_AN: I'm sorry for the delay in posting this. I've been having computer troubles._**

**_As normal, I would like to hear feed back from my readers, it is the only way I will learn._**

**_Two important notices._**

**_Firstly, the next chapter will set a few years after this chapter. It will be the last major time skip that I am planning. Don't worry, it will be done tastefully and you'll start to see some of the differences between the Cannon and LaI worlds._**

**_Secondly, I will be having a poll to decide a major factor of the next chapter that will affect the whole story. I could tell you what the options are, but that would ruin the surprise. So I will make this simple. "Yes or No?". That is all the information you will be getting for this poll. If you vote Yes, something major will happen. Vote No and it doesn't. Simple as that. I was originally going to flip a coin but decided to take a page from the Joker's book and give someone else the fun of deciding how the story continues._**

**_Fail to vote altogether, and I will blow up a hospital. XP_**

**_Peace out._**


	5. Rude Awakenings

**Chapter 5: Rude Awakenings.**

**Five years later.**

**Current location: Somewhere in Naruto's mind scape.**

He was **NOT** having a good day so far.

Firstly, after making an _innocent_ enough statement the crazy snake lady threw a kunai at him... then licked the blood she has managed to draw with it clean in front of HIM! No less then an hour after that, he was blown over a mile away from the rest of his team by a really power blast of air... followed shortly afterwards by a giant man eating snake that SWALLOWED HIM WHOLE! If he hadn't thought quickly on his feet, he had no doubt that he would have vanished from the world like the rice ball he had watched getting turned into nothingness in the snakes belly. And to top his day off, he was suspended in mid air by a fucking freakishly long tongue belonging to some woman...demonic...thing, restrained by said tongue and then got a glowing hand right in his guts which caused him to feel nothing but mind shattering pain until he mercifully passed out.

Currently, he found himself wondering around blindly and aimlessly in a sewer system while crawling in ankle high sewage because of all the smoke that was in the tunnel with him. He was pretty sure that if he breathed it in long enough he would choke to death and no matter how often he turned into a new tunnel it didn't ease up in the slightest. Sadly, the only 'fresh' air that seemed to exist in the tunnel was in the half a foot between the sewage and the smoke.

Muttering countless and often vile curses against all the beings that he was petty sure must exist on same plane that took some sort of sick and twisted pleasure in his suffering and torment, Naruto wasn't able to close his mouth as a freak wave of the sewage washed over him.

Vomiting the contents of his mouth and stomach into the fowl substance he was crawling through, he silently made a vow that he would track down whatever divine being was responsible for all the random crap that seemed to happen in his life, find a way to hurt it then kick its ass until it was either dead or he just couldn't punch it in the face anymore. Whatever came first.

Attempting to spit out the fowl taste of... whatever the hell he was traveling through, Naruto took comfit in two things. He had seen Sasuke piss himself in fear and despite how shitty his life was, it could only get better from here.

When the next wave of what could only be described as piss and feces started to roll in, he managed to keep his mouth closed. It was an improvement, but it didn't help the smell in the slightest.

…...

There were few things that existed that were as fascinating, horrifying, interesting or just plan crazy as a sapient mind. Unlike a sentient creature, which merely has to be aware of itself enough to be able to feel pain, eat and reproduce, Sapient creatures were capable of higher forms of thought. In theory, humans were meant to be prime examples of sapient creatures. In practice, this was a load of crap. Everyone was normally too busy serving their basic desires from day to day to take the time to think about anything. If they did, the world would be a grander and much more terrifying place to live in.

Putting this interesting train of thought aside for now, he continued to walk along the wooden bridge of planks he had set up what felt like eons ago. The planks were surprisingly well worn, since they were often the only guide he had in the smog that filled the sewer tunnels he was forced to call a home for years now. Back when he was in charge, the place had been a never ending carnival with booths, sideshows, rides and games, allowing him to keep his thoughts and memories perfectly safe while forcing possible invaders to play twisted and rigged games and ride booby trapped rides for false prizes. Admittedly, the sewer system had been under construction at the time, but the mind that lived in it had died when he had been created by Mother and Father. It's construction was meant to be put off indefatigably.

That changed the day he met the old man.

At first he had shown great concern and worry for his well being. But that changed quickly enough when it became clear that he wasn't the sort of person he was expecting. He had had the nerve to call him an leech, a parasite, then called in the red eyed man who murdered his Otosan to try and destroy him.

He had locked him away, casting him and his carnival in the sewer before boarding it up and throwing away the mortar and hammer. Afterwards, in what could only be considered a sick joke, they had even had the nerve to try and create a mockery of himself, an image of what they wanted him to be. But they had almost underestimated his brand new Ototo. He was much smarter and more cunning then they had predicted. If they had just had a little more time, they would have met each other in person and gotten the chance to play with each other. But the red eyed man had interfered.

He then started to cripple his Ototo. He kept boarding up and locking away important sections of his mind until he couldn't find himself anymore. The smoke that filled the tunnels was there in order to prevent what he had locked away to be found again. So that what was lost remained lost. While to a much lesser extent, his own mind had suffered from the locks placed on his Ototo's mind. Much of what he once had had vanished into the mists. Forgotten over the course of time or lost in the cataclysm that had been the banishment of his mind and the creation of another.

Still, a few things had made it through the great upheaval and protected from getting lost or forgotten in the never ending smoke screen. His duck shooting game, his four cornered fighting stage and a couple of his more simple game booths and made it through, even if they were in horrible condition due to being unused for so long. There hadn't been anything he could do to save what little he had left, preventing the red eyed man from succeeding in his plan to force him out of existence. If he had truly been an invader, he would had died a long time ago. But since he was trapped in his own head, he had some control over his new reality. The wooden walkways through the tunnels he had access too and the gas mask he wore so that he didn't have to crawl through sewage to breath were some of the minor comfits he had been able to create for himself in this pit of isolation.

But today was different.

Something major had happened. He wasn't quite sure what it was, but he was looking at one of the results right in front of him.

There was a crack in the bricks that made up the wall keeping him a prisoner in these smoke filled tunnels. He could tell because the smoke was leaking through it at a steady rate. All that was needed was a small application of common sense. Grabbing the handle of the ridiculously over sized hammer with both hands, he managed to hoist the insane amount of weight over his shoulder, causing him to stumble backwards a few feet and into the ankle deep 'water' for a few seconds. Giving a war cry that was muffled by the mask he wore to breath in the smoke filled environment, he charged forwards, swinging the hammer he had named 'Common Sense' into the wall between him and the first steps to freedom. He didn't even have to try that hard to swing the hammer, since the momentum of its own weight carried it easily enough. The thunderous roar of the impact with the wall was enough to cause the whole tunnel system to shake as if an earthquake had hit it. While the wall remained standing, the cracks running through it had increased greatly. Smiling under his mask, he dragged the hammer through the sewage so that he could get another running start for the second strike before trying to lift it again.

The wall lasted another three blows before it lost the battle of wills against the hammer called 'Common Sense'. As it fell, a blur pale white skin with yellow hair with green tips zoomed through it without a moments hesitation.

Senshuken N.U. Sha was free! Admittedly he had a lot of work to do, but he could afford a little pleasure first...

For the first time in years, Senshuken left his mind scape behind, wishing to see what his Ototo had done to their body.

…...

**In the Real World.**

While it had been a number of years since he had stepped foot in the real world, but there were some things that were just like riding a giant frog that once you knew, you never really forgot.

Pain, for example.

While it seemed to be an old pain, Senshuken still felt like someone had beaten him with a two by four then left him for dead. Still, he had undergone worse. Hell, this was pretty tame by comprehension to how he felt after some of Otosan's training methods. It was a good pain. He knew all about Bad Pain. It deserved the capitalization.

Opening his eyes slowly, the first thing he saw was the roof above his head. It was made of wood, sort of had a natural theme about it... Admittedly the dirt, leaves and bugs might have been taking it a little too far, but who was he to stand in the way of a passionate decorator. Forcing himself to sit up, it quickly became clear that the 'passionate decorator' truly was a master of the natural theme. He was currently in a tree... the root system from the looks of it. From the sound of things, something was happening outside, but for the time being it wasn't his concern.

Looking down at himself, the first thing he noticed was bright orange. Lots of bright orange. Oddly enough, while many would consider such a thing ugly and stupid, Senshuken didn't. Sure it was ugly and stupid, but it was the kind of ugly and stupid that made people believe you were little more then a joke. If you were a joke, people would laugh at you. If they were laughing at you, then you weren't a threat. If you weren't a threat, the look of surprise on their faces when you stabbed them in the neck was priceless!

Taking out a kunai, Senshuken took the quiet moment he had on hand to check out his reflection in the shiny metal. Ototo had let their hair go back too its natural blond, along with letting their skin get tanned. Not exactly unexpected, but first chance that presented itself he was going to make a few changes.

It was then that he noticed movement in the corner of his eye... someone who looked exactly like someone he had had the misfortune of meeting years ago.

While he would be the first to admit that his memory was about as useful or user friendly as an umbrella to a drowning man, some important facts managed to hang in there. Besides, it was an unofficial law of nature that once a clan got big enough, strong enough, arrogant enough or just a mix of all three to begin justifying inbreeding for whatever reason sooner or later it was going to implode on itself.

The fact that the Uchiha all had a similar appearance suggested as such. They all had the same hair color, the same basic facial features and for some really creepy reason the hair styles of all the males seemed to take the form of the rear ends of various birds. The one laying unconscious mere meters away had a hair cut that made it look like a duck had plowed into the back of his skull and got stuck there.

Details aside however, there was a little matter of self preservation that needed to be taken care of. It had been one of the red eyes that had taken away his freedom by locking him inside his own head! It was frightfully _boring_ in there. As far as he was concerned, he was owed some form of compensation for his pain and suffering. He could file a lawsuit, hire a really good legal team and spend years suing those duck loving pink eyed freaks for ever piece of land and coin they own! Hell, there were sure to be plenty of other people who had gotten screwed over by the fire breathers over the years, he might as well start a major class action lawsuit against the bastards. That would show them!

…_Or_ he could just take his kunai and take all of his anger and frustration out on the prone and helpless little bastard mere meters away from him, allowing him to avoid the paper work that a class action lawsuit would require and get swift retribution in the process. Decisions, decisions...

Making up his mind, he to crawl on his knees over to the downed Uchiha, shifting his hold on the kunai in his hand so that he had a better hold on the handle. Noticing the rather pained look on the boy's unconscious face, Senshuken smiled brightly as he said his first words out loud in over five years in a voice that was barely more then a whisper.

"Why so serous?"

_AN: There it is people. My very first cliff hanger. I would like to thank all six people who voted. While what exactly you voted for will be unveiled next chapter, do know that it involves Sasuke. I will offer cookies to anyone who can correctly guess what I have planned, as well as the chance to create an OC if you guess first._

_To answer a couple of reviews, Rama is based heavy on the Joker from Batman, but this is not a cross over story. I will admit that I will still use Joker as a reference point and you might see some of his more famous (or Infamous) lines through out the story, but only if the situation allows it._

_The usage of Joker's Eulogy in chapter one was kept as close to the original as possible because it was well written and suited my needs. I only changed it enough to make it relevant. Everyone who figured it out, have a cookie on me._

_Peace out._

Translations:

Otosan: Father

Ototo: Little Brother.


	6. Nightmarish Reality

**Chapter 6: Nightmarish Reality.**

**Voices in Naruto's mindscape:**

_Naruto's mental voice, _

_Senshuken's mental voice, _

**Demonic mental voice.**

With a complete lack of ceremony, the newly awakened Senshuken wiped the blood on his poorly made kunai on the shirt of the first victim he had been able to get at for over five years. The blood of the kin of the person who had wronged him had really put him in a really good mood. But like all good things, once you had one it was impossible to stop yourself from helping yourself to a second or third one. It was a nasty little octagon and Senshuken liked it that way.

Still, there were matters that needed to be settled first.

Looking down at the eyeballs sitting together in his blood and clear liquid stained hand, the empty black eyes stared back while hiding their secrets from the world. The amount of options open to someone processing the eyeballs of anyone with a bloodline were (If you could get away with getting the damn things without getting caught or killed) relatively open. You could transplant them into your own skull, sell them for profit, trade them for stuff, give them to a girl as a romantic gesture...

Instead, he simply tilted his hand to the side, letting the gross little orbs fall onto the ground, raising a small dirt cloud into the air. The small, private world in the tree hollow was silent for a few seconds while it waited for the other shoe to drop... which it did as Senshuken bunny hopped into the air before landing with a loud, wet _Squish_.

Taking a few steps towards the downed black haired nitwit who he was sharing a hollow tree with, Senshuken tried to ignore the sickening noises his steps were making while doing his best to maintain his balance while slipping and sliding due to the mess on the soles of his sandals. Wiping the gunk created by the combination of eyeballs, dirt and shoe on the other boys shirt, Senshuken took a few seconds to take the ever important second step of awaking; Stake out the situation in the nearby area.

It wasn't that hard to figure out what was going on as he peeked out into the forest clearing in front of the hollow. The losers in the funny clothing wearing headbands that had a funny looking music note were currently beating the shit out of the flat chested bubblegum bimbo and some weirdo wearing a piratical green spandex outfit designed to maximize speed who didn't bother to try shaving his stupid hair in order to go faster. Not really surprising when he thought about it.

The music note trio has numbers and seemed to have at least some decent if limited training in their respective fields. While he didn't know enough about Eyebrows to make any snap judgments, even though he was down on the ground in pain the state of the clearing suggested that he put up one hell of a fight despite the odds against him.

Bubblegum Pink was a different matter. He knew about her beforehand because his little brother was so... _focused_ on her. Personally, he didn't approve of her. She was vain, narrow minded, abusive and worst of all she was complete and utterly useless. Sure she was highly intelligent with decent chakra control, but she didn't know how to use them in a combat situation. While some of this wasn't completely her fault she seemed content to neglect training herself, preferring to sit back and let others do the fighting for her while all she can do is cry and scream for others to help her. It was so god damn annoying...

Looking for another way out of the hollow so that he could make an escape without drawing too much attention to himself while completely ignoring the plight of those he was going to leave behind, it took merely a few seconds to spot a small gap in the roots of the opposite side of the tree just big enough for someone his size to crawl through. All he had to do was take a few steps and he would be fre...

_What the...'_

Senshuken stepped dead in his tracks, the voice in his head not his own, its tone confused but very quickly turning to anger. He had really hoped his little brother wouldn't figure things out this quickly...

_Who the hell are you and what the fuck are you doing in my body?'_

Placing his hands on his temples as his knees gave out, Senshuken was overcome with a blinding migraine as one of his mental roommates started to kick up a fuss about the current situation. With a pain filled sigh Senshuken quickly listed his options on how to handle the situation only to come up with a rather short list in that regard. He _could _suppress his little brothers mind forcefully, but that was a very short term solution that he doubted would pan out too well. All it would do was turn Naruto hostile against him and the chances of it ending well for either of them were slim at best.

The other options required killing people. Considering the situation with his chakra network at the moment, he wouldn't be able to trust his jutsu's to function correctly. Annoying but do-able.

_GET THE HELL OUT OF MY BOD...'_

Finally sick of the annoying high pitched yelling in his head, Senshuken cut Naruto off with a sharp _SHUT UP AND LET ME SPEAK DAMN IT!'_

The momentary silence that filled his mind was short lived as Senshuken broke the silence, hoping to cut Naruto off before he started to speak once more.

_Listen, I promise you that I will explain things to you later, but right now we have a sitution on our hands that we need to take care of and if we're fighting each other we're going to get each other killed, along with Eyebrows, Bubblegum Pink and Emo Boy. In fact, the more questions I answer now the more likely Pinky is and Eyebrow are going to die. Do you understand?'_

_What do you mean Eyebrow and Pink... You mean Lee and Sakura? WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE WAITING FOR! GET MOVING!'_

_I would, but I need to be in complete control in order to do anything and you screaming at me isn't going to help! Now be silent so I can figure something out...'_

With the voice of his little brother silencing itself and ceasing its struggles for control, the migraine vanished instantly. Forcing himself to his feet, Senshuken took a deep breath before doing a quick check list of things he has at his disposal. With his chakra network messed with, jutsu in general were out of the question. It might be possible to perform a passive minor jutsu but nothing offensive that would be useful...

Aware of the fact that his roommate and tenant were watching, Senshuken placed his hands together in a ram seal.

This was going to be either really fun or rather painful.

Most likely both.

…...

_'I've failed Guy-Sensei. My flames of youth weren't bright enough and now sweet Sakura-kun is going to suffer because I wasn't strong enough to protect her or myself.' _

Lee couldn't move from his position on the ground, his body hurting from the side effects of releasing his first gate, as well as the after effects of the cowardly and unyouthful sound attack that one of his opponents had used on him. It didn't improve his mood that he had been on the verge of winning in an honorable one on one battle when his opponent's teammate stepped in and interfered. Not only did they lack honor, but their flames of youth were almost non-existent.

As the honor less coward that had overcome him was calmly approaching him, no doubt to deliver the final blow, only one thought ran through his mind.

_'Forgive me Guy-Sensei. I do not deserve to be your student since your faith in me was misplaced. No amount of self given challenges will make up for this disastrous defeat. Sakura-kun, I am sorry that I wasn't strong enough to protect you. Since I failed to protect you, when I arrive in hell I shall pus a boulder up a mountain a thousand times. If I cannot do that, I shall swim five thousand laps in a sea of fire with one arm tied behind my back. If I cannot do that, I shall transport a mountain from one side of hell to the other, one handful of stone at a time. If I cannot do that I shall...'_

Lee's train of thought was broken by a rather strange noise. It seemed to echo around the clearing, repeating itself at a slow, confident pace. Forcing his eyelids open in order to look around in order to find the source, Lee noticed quickly that he wasn't the only one who's thoughts had been interrupted, the Sound trio stopping whatever it was they were doing at the time and were looking around as well. In fact that only one who he could tell wasn't looking for the source was his Sakura-kun and the only reason that was so was because of the only female in the Sound Trio still held a fistful of her long, beautiful pink hair.

And it was while he was looking in Sakura's direction that he find what he was looking for.

The first thing he noticed about the person standing in the entrance of the hollow in the tree that Sakura (And by protecting his Sakura-kun, if somewhat indirectly, Lee) had been defending since the beginning of the battle was the purple aura around him. Suddenly aware that water had been building up in his eyes, blurring his vision a little, Lee blinked. With his vision cleared, it was painfully obvious that the 'purple aura' was simply a purple overcoat that more or less covered his body.

His bone white hair was long and smooth, almost silk like that reached down to the base of his neck. It a lot of ways, his face reminded him of slightly of Naruto's in the same way certain facial formations could show that two people were related to each other. The similarities died there. From the few times he had encountered Naruto something about him always put the image of a lovable and loyal animal in Lee's mind, and while Naruto's flames of youth might not have reached their fullest potential (Only the likes of Guy-Sensei could help one achieve such an enlightened state) they burned brightly non the less.

Whoever was standing in the entrance way of the tree hollow completely lacked the caring and loyal feeling that Naruto gave off. The skin was a much paler color, the markings on his cheeks looking more like someone had taken a knife to scar his flesh rather then natural whiskers and his eyes...

Naruto's eyes were a shade of blue that shined because his flames of youth burned brightly within them. This man's eyes were an animistic green that burned with fire that was far to tainted and chaotic to be his flames of youth. While he had no idea what he was looking at, Lee felt a shiver of fear crawl down his spine.

The man was smiling a slightly amused grin... And he was clapping.

It took a second for Lee to figure out that the noise they had all been hearing was the sound of his hands clapping in a controlled, almost polite fashion. For some reason the sound put him on edge. The fact that there seemed to be fresh blood on the man's sleeves didn't help much.

He also didn't appear to be wearing a headband... or any other kind of village marking now that Lee thought about it.

The clapping stopped as the man grinned.

"You know, you three make a damn fine distraction. It's good to be working with people who can get the job done now a days."

Whatever the Sound Trio were expecting him to say or do, that clearly wasn't it. Lee could almost feel the confusion and questioning looks that they were sending to each other, silently asking if anyone knew who the man was. When they finally returned their attention to him, he was already walking towards the only female in the trio, within a couple of feet of her when he cut off any question she was going to ask.

" You're holding the girl wrong. You need to grip... move aside one moment..."

The Mystery Man politely but forcefully shoved the Sound girl to the side, forcing her to release her hold on Sakura-kun's hair before gripping it himself. Sakura's pain filled screech that sounded like someone had just torn a chunk of fur off of a cat was easily louder then anything that the sound girl had been able to get out of her as the man forced her to her feet. The female Sound ninja looked rather pale as the blood drained from her face, looking like she was trying to say something but couldn't find the words before her eyes rolled into the back of her head as she fell backwards.

The man turned his attention towards the girl after she had fallen before chuckling rather loudly at some private joke. "Guess she didn't have the heart for this job then."

It was at this point that one of the male Sound ninja, the one Lee hadn't fought directly, suddenly hit the ground as a kunai almost magically appeared out of nowhere, striking him dead in his left eye. The last living member of the team, raising his gauntlet out of pure instinct as he seemed to have already been suspicious of such a surprise attack, managed to avoid the same fate as his peer as his gauntlet blocked the kunai that would have killed him otherwise, letting it drop to the ground as he lowered his shield and weapon to launch a counter attack with an almost primal warcry escaping from his wrapped up face, murder in his eyes as he tensed up to counter attack.

Only to be silenced as the exploding tag wrapped around the blade of the kunai at his feet exploded.

As the heat wave of the attack faded, Lee felt his body grew cold as understanding reached him. Whoever the man was, he had just plain and simply murdered two... Almost on a whim, Lee glanced at the female Sound ninja only to notice she was no longer breathing with an ugly red patch growing along her side... three people trained for combat who had overcome both Sakura-kun's defenses and attempts to drive them away as well as his own in a matter of _seconds_.

_**Crack**_

Glancing back towards the man as he seemed to make a horrible cracking noise, Lee's eyes widened as he saw the cherry blossom beauty go limp as the man released her, forcing Lee to watch as Sakura fell limp to the floor. He had wanted to yell to her, scream her name so loud that all the world would be able to hear it, but all he managed was a weakly horse, grief laced "Sakura-kun..."

Lee was just too shocked at the sight of Sakura's limp body to pay attention to the world around him. He didn't even notice that the man who did _something_ to Sakura was gone until he heard a noise by his head. Turning his head as quickly as he could in the state his body was in, the last thing Lee remembered seeing before he drifted off into darkness was a sandal wearing foot traveling right for his head.

…...

With the last living person in the clearing taken care of, the transformation that Senshuken was using to look like his real self dropped in a cloud of smoke, returning the body he now shared with his little brother to normal with the exception of his green eyes. Trying his best to ignore the non stop yelling from Naruto and fighting off the quickly growing headache, Senshuken bent over to grab the wrist of the unconscious boy with the comically over sized eyebrows and started to drag him back to the hollow that this whole fight had been about.

On route, he stopped long enough to pick up the flat chested bimbo in order to do the same, silencing some of the pain that Naruto was causing him on account of his own actions moments before.

Entering the hollow without a word, he simply dropped both of his patients off in the first clear space he could find before returning to the place he was pretty sure he had woken up in. Laying down, Senshuken closed his eyes as he caught the last part of Naruto's little rant.

_'…Why the hell did you do that to Sakura-chan? And why is there blood over by Sasuke? I want answers DAMN IT!'_

_'Very well then. If you want answers I shall give you them. But I would rather do this face to face so hold on for just one...'_

And with those words, Senshuken reentered the mind scape he shared with not one, but two roommates. Since it seemed like they were going to have to hold a house meeting, there was only one place they could really hold such a thing.

Thankfully, it was one of the few places that wasn't choked with bloody smog.

**AN: I am sorry for the delay in getting this chapter up. Things have just kept on happening and for a while there I lost the will to write. Thankfully, a few days ago that spark returned full force with only logic and continuity standing in my way. I had a much better battle scene planned out for this, but sadly I couldn't get the items needed for it due to my own set up for the battle. Now I know what your thinking, I could have easily done what some other authors have done and completely ignored my own guidelines therefore giving me a bad ass battle but breaking my own rules with some crappy explanation.**

**I could have done this, but didn't. I respect most of those who take the time to read fanfiction and I will not spit in your faces like certain other writers (At this point I would like to mention that I do not own Naruto, Batman or any other trademarked item that may be mentioned in my story. If I did, I wouldn't be writing this thing in the first place. Instead, I would be somewhere warm and sunny with a beautiful and flexible gold digger girlfriend who could overlook the fact that I have trouble expressing myself socially due to the truck loads of money that would be dumped in front of my house twice daily. A man can dream though.)**

**Just something I forgot to mention. Originally, I was planning on creating a Joker like Naruto. However, after looking into this field in detail, I have discovered that this is one of the hardest things any writer could pull of successfully. Out of all the attempts, 26-Lord-Pain's NU:The Killing Joke is the only one that I believe succeed in doing this. That isn't to say that he won't do Joker like things however (I promise to work the pencil trick in there somewhere. I don't know where just yet, but it will get in there) after all, Senshuken was trained by a Joker like person. He is bound to pick up a few traits. **

** One of the people who reviewed my story (Non account name: Naruto Fan) mentioned in his review that he didn't like authors changing Naruto's name. I can respect this, I hate it as well. My answer to his question might also explain just what the Senshuken / Naruto relationship is to anyone else having trouble understanding it. As I said above, Joker like cross over characters are insanely hard to write. I lack the skills to do such a thing justice. However, looking back on my work I saw just what I had instead: A perfect Harvey Dent/ Two Face relationship in the making, in which Naruto is Dent and Senshuken is Two Face. **

**I hope that clears it up a little. Please leave reviews. Otherwise I don't know what I'm doing wrong. :P  
**

**Goodnight everybody!**


	7. Meeting of the Minds

**AN: **_I am sorry about the delays that tend to occur between chapters. I would say that they are there because I take a 'I'll post whenever I feel like it' approach to my updating, but there is more. I have lots of different story ideas in my head at any given time and it is hard to decide which one I should be working on at any given moment. It's way I need reviews so I can tell what's sticking to the wall and what I should put on the shelf. _

_So please, look at my other stories and tell me if they are worth continuing. It would really make my day._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't see why I need to put this here, but I would like to take the time to say "I do not own Naruto, Batman or anything else in this story. Even though I have ownership of the OC's and the storyline, I am too lazy to defend them legally. All I ask is that, before you steal or copy elements from my stories, you ask me politely first. Odds are I will say yes out of pure interest in seeing how you interpret my creations. _

_**Voices in Naruto's mindscape:**_

**Demonic mental voice.**

**Chapter Seven**

**Meeting of the Minds.**

He didn't like it here...

It was a strange thought to have about your own mind but from the few times that Naruto had visited the place, good memories were few and far between. If he hadn't been confronting a giant demonic ass hole of a fox, he was dragging himself though sewerage while not being able to see jack shit due to a never ending smog cloud. While it was a little strange that the smog was no where near the fox's cage, Naruto had never really given it much thought. Odds were it had something to do with the fox anyway.

However, as he walked down the various pathways that would no doubt lead him to the fox demon's prison, something frighteningly different reached the blond shinobe's ears.

The air was filled with laughter and it was coming from the direction he was heading.

One of the those laughing was clearly the fox. Naruto had heard him laughing darkly before (Admittedly it was more of a chuckle, but the point remains) but it was the second, softer source of laughter that threw him off. Someone else was talking to the fox and they appeared to be on good terms with each other.

Naruto started to run.

What possible good could come from someone _other_ then himself being on good terms with the baka fox in his own mind scape?

Naruto started to run faster.

Within the last hundred or so meters away from the baka fox's stupid chamber, he began to overhear what sounded very much like the punchline of some joke.

" **Oh wait, it gets better.** **So the guy is just about to lead everyone back to his place when a messenger barges through the door, yelling about how there was a fire at his lords home. Turns out the man's family, servants and everything he owned was gone; as well as the money he had so greedy hoarded. After a few seconds of silence, one of the debt collectors behind him makes a small coughing sound and says 'So you can't pay us then.'**

**The debt collectors then grab the guy and drag him off into the night and nobody ever heard from him again!" **

As a new wave of laughter filled the air, Naruto finally entered the larger then life chamber that housed the humongous cage that was almost comically kept shut by a single slip of paper.

He wasn't alone.

While the baka fox was always a sight to see (Not like it could go anywhere) it was the human shaped bent over next to the charge, using one of the bars to hold himself up while he laughed his ass off that caught his attention.

_'That... That guy looks almost exactly like me... What the hell is going on here?'_

Taking a few steps closer to the cage and the person leaning against it, Naruto took the chance to take a closer look at the strange copy of himself. There were differences. The copy's hair was bone white and longer then his own, his skin was paler, he was dressed in different clothing as well as different colours. Instead of the bright orange he loved, the fake him was dominated by purple.

As the laughter died down, the person leaning against the cage for balance glanced up and smiled at him. It was like looking in a twisted reflection in a mirror as Naruto's calm and hopeful light blue eyes met Senshuken's primal and twisted dark green ones.

"Greetings Little Brother. I have been waiting to meet you face to face for a few years now. I had hoped it would have been under better circumstances but I'm smart enough to be willing to take what I can get."

Naruto was thrown off by the greeting. No one had ever called him brother before and despite the slight... something lacing the strange man's voice, the number of people who had ever greeted him in such a friendly and honest manner could be counted on both his hands. While there were many skills one picked up from a lifetime of setting up pranks, one of Naruto's favourites was being able to read other people. It was important to be able to see if someone was about to be pushed over the edge.

It was the difference between being chased down one street with someone yelling at him and that same person kicking down his front door in the dead of night with a weapon of some sort in their hands.

Seemingly remembering what he had witnessed this...twisted version of himself do to bushy brow and Sakura-chan, the unexpected surprise at the pleasant greeting was quickly replaced by anger. "What the fuck are you doing here? Who the hell do you think you are? Why the fuck did you attack Busy Brow and Sakura-Chan? And why the hell are you sitting in here, talking to the baka fox like he was a real person?"

The last question was answered by a sub-sonic roar as two massive red (insanely sharp) claws slammed into the steel bars, the air and water of the sewage being pushed towards Naruto in waves.

"**YOU DISREASPUTFUL LITTLE TWERP! How DARE you insult someone infinity your better you ungrateful little sh.." **

It was at this point in the giant fox's rant that Naruto tuned out the screaming verbal abuse. He was used to this sort of thing and while he would admit that a couple of the baka's insults were rather creative, they weren't anything new. However, the position of the demon fox's claws caught his eye. From his few meetings with the demon, as well as the stories about him, the baka fox hated humanity with a passion. The fact that it seemed that the fuzz ball had taken care to _avoid _striking the twisted copy of himself, especially since he was within striking distance.

"**...with a blond spiky haired PIG!"**

With the rant reaching an end, the nine tailed demon fox seemed to be breathing heavily in order to regain his breath, most likely for more yelling, when the twisted clone spoke up. "Lord Kyubi No Kitsune, I apologise for my little brothers stupidity and lack of respect. He was raised and given an education in Konoha."

Shocked into silence by the act of someone asking for forgiveness on his behalf without his permission, Naruto was surprised by the fact that the room was suddenly filled with a deep chuckling noise that was clearly amused by the statement. "** That fact alone is enough to explain his arrogance, ignorance and false bravado. I will... excuse his insults for the time being as the fault of his village. But that will only cover so much, is that understood Senshuken?**"

"Crystal, Lord Kyubi."

The sheer...weirdness of the situation was more then enough to creep Naruto out to no end, the part of his brain that was unquestioningly loyal to Konoha was offended by this conversation. "HEY! There is nothing wrong with getting an education in Konoha! How DARE you baka's say otherwise."

The deathly silence that followed his words allowed them to echo down the entrance of the chamber, making Naruto sweat a little as both the twisted look alike recently named Senshuken and the baka fox just turned their heads and glared at him. Oddly enough it was the human that spoke first. "Naruto, during your extended stay in the academy other then the three basic jutsu, some basic common sense, how to use basic tools and weapons some random pieces of general knowledge, what exactly did you _learn_ there?"

Naruto opened his mouth... and said nothing as his brain finally woke up and started thinking about the question properly. Other then the subjects that had been named, the only other thing he could remember being taught in class was history... which he had found sort of pointless. All history had been was ancient wars, grudges and on occasion the class was told to hate some guy who died fifty years ago because he pissed off a clan. All History class had been to him was an excuse to keep the old, petty and pointless grudges alive.

Naruto closed his mouth. Senshuken smiled. Kyubi. was surprised by the fact that the blond fool seemed to have grown a brain in the last ten seconds. The silence once again hung in the air, but there was a different feel too it. It was a more entertained silence then anything, as if it was waiting for the next shoe to drop to discover what happened next.

The silence fled as Senshuken opened his mouth.

"To answer your first question, I'm here because I'm you."

Naruto blinked at this for a second. Clearly he hadn't heard that correctly. "Wha?"

His reply was a dark little chuckle. " Well, to be more accurate, I _was _apart of you. A few years back, you underwent an event that caused your mind to shatter. I came about to fill the void that was left behind. When you were recreated, I was sealed away in our mind scape because a handful of people were afraid of what would happen if word got out to the public that the container of the great nine tailed fox was insane. The most likely outcome would have been the forceful extraction of the Kyubi after a suitable candidate for it to be resealed into was located, which would have resulted in our deaths."

Taking an encore due to popular demand, the silence returned once more. It's stay was short lived.

"To answer your second question, My full name is Sha, Senshuken."

Still recovering from the answer to the first question, Naruto blinked at the second one. "Hang on. If what you say is true, how come I don't remember anything like that? And if you were a part of me at one stage, shouldn't you be called Naruto too?"

With a slow intact of breath, Naruto could clearly see that his... second personality was thinking about what he was about to say carefully. It might have been strange, but he doubted the man was going to lie to him outright, despite only just meeting him.

"Well little brother, the reason you don't remember the event that broke you mind is because you can't handle it. If I was to even hint at it too soon you could relive the memory and it would break you once again. With some conditioning and time we will be able to fix up our mind scape to the point were you will be able to face the memory. One day you will have too. But until that day comes, I am afraid I will have to keep you in the dark."

A playful but somehow serous smile appeared on Sen's face that he had lacked before as he answered " I accepted the name Senshuken because I am not you. Pure and simple. Sha, Senshuken is a completely different person then Uzumaki, Naruto. I was raised in a different environment, treated differently and knew different people. It's proof that I am more then just a figment of someone's mind. Do you understand what I mean?"

Naruto couldn't help but nod. It made perfect sense to him. But there were still questions he needed answered. "Why did you attack my friends once you killed the people attacking them?"

Senshuken shrugged at the question. "Well, I knocked out Eyebrows because I cannot have him figuring out that we are both the same person. As it is, if he says anything we can argue that he wasn't in the right frame of mind after all the damage he took in his battle with the three losers. The blow to the head wouldn't strengthen his case anyway. If they discover that I had escaped the seal that imprisoned me in our mind scape before we can figure something out, we will be in great trouble. Most likely die. We should try to avoid that."

"As for Pinky, I knocked her out because it brought me great joy and pleasure to shut her the fuck up for once."

Naruto was about to nod his head before the words registered in his brain. "Wait WHAT?"

Despite the shock in Naruto's voice, Senshuken answered calmly and honestly " Having witnessed how she acted and treated you over the years, I find her a useless, shallow, vain, abusive, incompetent bitch who deserves far worse then what I did to her."

"**I still say you should have snapped her damn neck." **the caged kitsune added with much delight and chuckling.

"I would have but for some unexplained reason Naruto would have completely cracked the shits if I had." Sen answered, keeping his eyes on Naruto while the demon fox started to laugh in the background.

Naruto wasn't happy.

"How DARE you say such cruel things about Sakura-chan? TAKE IT BACK RIGHT NOW!"

"To lie to you would go against my nindo So no. I will not take back what I said about that shallow, pink haired cow."

The confliction of anger and confusion that raged within Naruto was fierce, but in the end confusion won out. "What do you mean, your nindo?"

Senshuken bowed a little as he gave his answer " I will never lie to myself and become something that I am not because someone else asked it of me."

Naruto's face did nothing to hide his confusion at the answer. "How does that affect you not calling Sakura-chan a bitch?"

"Much like I am a part of you (admittedly an independent part), you are also a part of me. I cannot bring myself to lie to you because that would be like lying to myself. As such, I will not hide how much I hate that pink haired shallow bitch you call a team mate from you. You've been lied too enough in your life for me to add more to it."

Closing his eyes, Naruto took a really deep breath. While he felt that Senshuken was full of shit, all he could do was show him that he was wrong about Sakura. That wouldn't be too hard. "All I ask is that you stop insulting her in front of me. Alright?"

Senshuken rolled his eyes as he said "For now I will. But expect me to call them how I see them in the future. "

Sighing in defeat, Naruto recognised when a deal was as good as it was going to get. "Alright. I can live with that. But that still doesn't explain why you and the fuzzy baka get along so well."

While the sharp insult got a growl from said 'fuzzy baka', it didn't get the outrage like before. Senshuke just smiled as he leaned back against the bars of the cage. " That's easy enough to answer. When I got looked in here about fiv..." he paused for a second, trying to remember something. "Was it five or six years ago?" he asked out loud.

"**Six"**

"Thank you. Well, when I was locked in here six years ago, after a few months I started to yearn for contact with another living being. It can get suicidal boring in here on your own after all periods of time. Since there were things in place to prevent me from contacting you, I tracked down the only other thing trapped in here other then myself. We met up, started talking to each other, played poker every now and then, watched how you were doing with life... We have a lot in common and after all the years we've spent together in here we have a mutual respect for each other."

Naruto looked at the demonic beast that had caused so much of his life to suck ass and was shocked to find it nodded along in agreement. "**All creatures need to seek companionship every once in a while, otherwise they go completely insane from the isolation and loneliness. You of all people should understand."**

Bowing his head, Naruto remembered just how lonely his own childhood had been. It ate at you over time until the pain was unbearable. This case of friendship might have been strange, but it was understandable.

It was Senshuken who broke him out of his funk when he asked " You're going to be waking up soon. But may I advice you on how we can handle our current situation before you vanish?"

"What situation?"

"You and me being here at the same time."

Thinking about it, Naruto couldn't believe he had forgotten that the fact they were both speaking to each other in his mind scape might have been a big deal. " So what happens now? Do we fight it out for who gets control or..."

Senshuken shook his head. " We could fight it out, but we would both lose in the end. Until we can think of something better, I am more then willing to let you have control for the most part. Now that I am no longer restrained like I was before I can start fixing up our mind scape a bit. That smog has to go at any rate. At times I will try whispering advice to you, or take over completely if you get in over your head. That sound alright too you?"

Despite how off putting this meeting had been, Naruto couldn't help but accept the fact that, until further notice, this was the best plan they had. "Alright then. Do you know how I can get back or wha..." mid sentence, Naruto's world went black as he vanished from his mind scape, returning to the physical world.

Senshuken and the caged tailed beast sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments before Senshuken pushed off the bar to the cage and started walking towards the entrance of the room.

"See you around Kyubi. I would love to stay and hear about a few more of your pranks, but I've got work to do."

**AN: And thus we have another finished chapter. **

**I don't have much to say expect please tell me what you think of things so far. Reviews make me a happy camper. **

**Also, I am having a new poll on my profile. I am thinking of starting a new story based off of the Storm Hawks one shot I have created. You can read it in my profile and tell me what you think of the idea. **

**Goodnight everybody and take care.**


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